If Terrell Owens Was a Bear

Written by Joe Willett of Bleacherreport.com.

Terrell Owens has officially been traded to the Chicago Bears after Jerry Jones decided that he needed to cave to the media and shake things up a little bit.

Although the trading deadline is long gone, Roger Goodell, in an attempt to keep Tony Romo and Jason Witten from joining forces to murder clubhouse cancer, allowed the trade to go through.

However, angered with the situation at hand, TO has begun his anti-teammate antics earlier than ever before.

It began when Bears receiver Rashied Davis refused to give up the number 81 to Owens, who has always had that number.

"This is just him looking at what I did to all my other teams and pre-judging me," said an angered Owens in another interview with ESPN writer Stephen A. Smith.

Davis also commented on the situation.

"I don't care if they give him the [Stephon] Marbury treatment, I don't want him on this team," said an also angered Davis.

Owens then turned his frustration to the quarterback and, in a tactic he has never used before, decided he didn't want to catch passes from anybody on the Bears depth chart at quarterback.

"First off, [Kyle] Orton is just plain ugly. Look at that neck beard, just nasty. At least I had Jeff Garcia (Playboy Playmate wife), Tony Romo (Jessica Simpson girlfriend) and Donovan McNabb (I guess he just thinks McNabb is hot). How am I supposed to catch passes from such an ugly person. And look at the guys they have lower on the depth chart are even worse. Grossman looks like a cardboard cutout and who the f*** is Caleb Hanie," said Owens.

To recap Owens' illustrius career, he has enjoyed good times. He has gone to six Pro Bowls and a Super Bowl. He has also caught more touchdown passes than any other wide receiver not named Jerry Rice and holds the NFL record for catches in a game with 20.

There have also been bad times. After his time in San Fransisco, he called his insinuated that his ex-quarterback was a homosexual. Then he went to Philadelphia where he played for just one season. In that one season, he went to the Super Bowl despite playing injured in the NFC Championship game.

While with the Eagles, he made statements against Donovan McNabb, saying that the team would be undefeated if they had Brett Favre as the quarterback because Favre is a warrior, even though McNabb was playing with a sports hernia among other injuries.

When he went to Dallas, arch-rival to the Eagles, he was generally nice to the team. However, in 2006, there was a police-report saying that Owens had overdosed on a pain medication intentionally to try to commit suicide.

Then, throughout the past few weeks, Owens has been reportedly creating a divide amongst the players in the Cowboys locker room as he had been upset with Tony Romo's frequent passing to tight end Jason Witten, although Romo had thrown to Owens about 20 more times than he had thrown to Witten. This event led to his most recent trade to Chicago.

Despite all of the antics he brings, he still always finds a way to help the team win. In his first game against the Packers he had 143 receiving yards and three touchdown catches as the Bears won the game 42-10.

Said Owens after the game, "they unleashed me."

I guess you can't teach an old dog new tricks.

This never really happened